Friday, March 25, 2005
.: no-title post :.
just when i thought it was nothing. i guess i was wrong. i met you once in my life before. while i do particularly remember how and why (even up to now), i chose you, in a way, ignore it for some reason or probably because of certain circumstances. but because of some weird twist of fate, you're now suddenly right in front of me.
overreacting? maybe i am. but i can't help but to react. why? because i'm overly bothered. i feel so odd. i can't even think properly and set my priorities straight. (which i badly need to do) serves me right for knowing a lot of stuff and for getting invloved with almost everything.
seems so simple. for the "normal" me, a self-help book usually does the trick. but at this point, it seems it would not be that easy. i don't feel me. i don't wholly blame you for that, but the thing is, you triggered these thoughts at the worst possible time (READ: final exams season).
endless thoughts are what i have right now. but you entering the scene at this time is what i don't like. again, i don't want to blame you... simply because i don't want to. i can't seem to blame you. i don't know why. maybe it's just me.
perfect setting to release my tantrums but my sane mind tells me that it would only make me look like a fool. i don't know what to do anymore, which makes me hate the situation more. i don't hate you. i don't hate myself (of course!). i just hate the situation.
here in my paradoxical world, i wish i could choose not to feel anything for some moments just so i can accomplish things that i need to do. although i know that i would have to resolve this ON MY OWN, i just want to keep my sanity for the meantime. obviously, i'm the only one bothered here. you're not... of course not...
- - - - - -
afterthought: i thought i'd be posting less (if at all) this holy week particularly because of the upcoming finals, i suddenly have such quick updates. oh well... wish me luck... for my finals (hehe!)
overreacting? maybe i am. but i can't help but to react. why? because i'm overly bothered. i feel so odd. i can't even think properly and set my priorities straight. (which i badly need to do) serves me right for knowing a lot of stuff and for getting invloved with almost everything.
seems so simple. for the "normal" me, a self-help book usually does the trick. but at this point, it seems it would not be that easy. i don't feel me. i don't wholly blame you for that, but the thing is, you triggered these thoughts at the worst possible time (READ: final exams season).
endless thoughts are what i have right now. but you entering the scene at this time is what i don't like. again, i don't want to blame you... simply because i don't want to. i can't seem to blame you. i don't know why. maybe it's just me.
perfect setting to release my tantrums but my sane mind tells me that it would only make me look like a fool. i don't know what to do anymore, which makes me hate the situation more. i don't hate you. i don't hate myself (of course!). i just hate the situation.
here in my paradoxical world, i wish i could choose not to feel anything for some moments just so i can accomplish things that i need to do. although i know that i would have to resolve this ON MY OWN, i just want to keep my sanity for the meantime. obviously, i'm the only one bothered here. you're not... of course not...
- - - - - -
afterthought: i thought i'd be posting less (if at all) this holy week particularly because of the upcoming finals, i suddenly have such quick updates. oh well... wish me luck... for my finals (hehe!)
Thursday, March 24, 2005
i-don't-know's
i don't exactly know what's happening to me lately. for instance, i don't know what i am doing online when i haven't even finished reading my oblicon book, which according to my schedule, should have been finished by yesterday. i haven't been my usual self lately. as to why? i also don't know.
i've been on my regular routine for almost-exams week like studying in starbucks the whole day and sleeping late and waking up late also. i seem to be able to get to absorb some of the stuff i'm reading. but i happen to not feel that everything's alright. again, i don't know why.
the only thing i know (and am sure of) is that i shouldn't be letting myself have these thoughts at this time simply because it's exams week. then again, they keep coming back, they seem to haunt me. i don't know why. i could have easily thought of these things in the past when i had more time. but no. it just has to happen now. i don't know if its main purpose is to keep me out of focus from reviewing.
i feel sad, disturbed and confused... there are reasons apparently. what i'm not sure of is if they are reasons at all. i feel helpless and so alone. i normally have instant "solutions" to these. but right now, my defenses are all down. again, i don't know why.
there are things that are most properly just left "hanging around" my head if only to keep my sanity and not to disturb the "normal" order of things. for how long? i don't particularly know... maybe, just maybe, forever.
i've been on my regular routine for almost-exams week like studying in starbucks the whole day and sleeping late and waking up late also. i seem to be able to get to absorb some of the stuff i'm reading. but i happen to not feel that everything's alright. again, i don't know why.
the only thing i know (and am sure of) is that i shouldn't be letting myself have these thoughts at this time simply because it's exams week. then again, they keep coming back, they seem to haunt me. i don't know why. i could have easily thought of these things in the past when i had more time. but no. it just has to happen now. i don't know if its main purpose is to keep me out of focus from reviewing.
i feel sad, disturbed and confused... there are reasons apparently. what i'm not sure of is if they are reasons at all. i feel helpless and so alone. i normally have instant "solutions" to these. but right now, my defenses are all down. again, i don't know why.
there are things that are most properly just left "hanging around" my head if only to keep my sanity and not to disturb the "normal" order of things. for how long? i don't particularly know... maybe, just maybe, forever.
Friday, March 18, 2005
before i disappear again
before i disappear again (because finals are coming up), just wanted to make a new entry...
oh yeah, yesterday i watched a movie with julie and marge. it was a spur of the moment decision (too impulsive. hehe!) for the purpose of de-stressing ourselves. actually, julie and i were at the library studying then out of the blue, we thought of watching a movie (fine, fine, i initiated it) so we checked the net to see what was showing in powerplant. julie had seen all the movies in powerplant except for 2 (hostage and robots). we decided to see hostage... and yes, we were able to convince marge to go with us. (hehe, B.I.)
again, i reiterate, our purpose was to de-stress... but after the movie, i got even more stressed. hahaha! in all honesty, the movie was nice. (i recommend you see it... but prepare yourself for gruesome scenes. hehe!) reminds me of the FACT that there are indeed heartless people in the world. oh well...
change topic. whenever exams are near (finals or midterms), even back in college, i noticed that i succumb easily to things, most especially to spending for food. while i do eat a lot, i eat lots more during exams. i remember the other night, i was studying in starbucks (rockwell drive) with irish and kq. again, spur of the moment, we decided to get some ice cream. and then late last week, i was in starbucks with cathy (bratinella), peewee, aren, and irish, we had yellow cab cheese pizza delivered there. oh, not to mention the liter (or gallons) of coffee i consume everyday. hay, magastos...
pwede na kaming maging stockholders sa starbucks rockwell. hehe! in fact, we kinda "own" a corner already there. hahaha!
blockmates and other law school friends, god bless for the coming finals. i hope you'll still see me in that august institution next semester. haha! Ü
oh yeah, yesterday i watched a movie with julie and marge. it was a spur of the moment decision (too impulsive. hehe!) for the purpose of de-stressing ourselves. actually, julie and i were at the library studying then out of the blue, we thought of watching a movie (fine, fine, i initiated it) so we checked the net to see what was showing in powerplant. julie had seen all the movies in powerplant except for 2 (hostage and robots). we decided to see hostage... and yes, we were able to convince marge to go with us. (hehe, B.I.)
again, i reiterate, our purpose was to de-stress... but after the movie, i got even more stressed. hahaha! in all honesty, the movie was nice. (i recommend you see it... but prepare yourself for gruesome scenes. hehe!) reminds me of the FACT that there are indeed heartless people in the world. oh well...
change topic. whenever exams are near (finals or midterms), even back in college, i noticed that i succumb easily to things, most especially to spending for food. while i do eat a lot, i eat lots more during exams. i remember the other night, i was studying in starbucks (rockwell drive) with irish and kq. again, spur of the moment, we decided to get some ice cream. and then late last week, i was in starbucks with cathy (bratinella), peewee, aren, and irish, we had yellow cab cheese pizza delivered there. oh, not to mention the liter (or gallons) of coffee i consume everyday. hay, magastos...
pwede na kaming maging stockholders sa starbucks rockwell. hehe! in fact, we kinda "own" a corner already there. hahaha!
blockmates and other law school friends, god bless for the coming finals. i hope you'll still see me in that august institution next semester. haha! Ü
Sunday, March 13, 2005
congrats tapat!!!
no time to blog lately... really really busy because finals are near and i haven't read (which means i haven't even started reviewing).
anyhow, i just can't help but make this post.
TAPAT, congrats congrats! i'm so, so proud! EXECUTIVE BOARD SWEEP # 6!!!
ben, i swear, you're the man! congrats!!!
army warmy, i'm so proud and so happy for you!!!
at last! at least this time, nag-iisip na ang mga estudyante. there's hope for la salle! haha!
DAPAT TAPAT! for a just and free society...
anyhow, i just can't help but make this post.
TAPAT, congrats congrats! i'm so, so proud! EXECUTIVE BOARD SWEEP # 6!!!
ben, i swear, you're the man! congrats!!!
army warmy, i'm so proud and so happy for you!!!
at last! at least this time, nag-iisip na ang mga estudyante. there's hope for la salle! haha!
DAPAT TAPAT! for a just and free society...
