Friday, March 25, 2005
.: no-title post :.
just when i thought it was nothing. i guess i was wrong. i met you once in my life before. while i do particularly remember how and why (even up to now), i chose you, in a way, ignore it for some reason or probably because of certain circumstances. but because of some weird twist of fate, you're now suddenly right in front of me.
overreacting? maybe i am. but i can't help but to react. why? because i'm overly bothered. i feel so odd. i can't even think properly and set my priorities straight. (which i badly need to do) serves me right for knowing a lot of stuff and for getting invloved with almost everything.
seems so simple. for the "normal" me, a self-help book usually does the trick. but at this point, it seems it would not be that easy. i don't feel me. i don't wholly blame you for that, but the thing is, you triggered these thoughts at the worst possible time (READ: final exams season).
endless thoughts are what i have right now. but you entering the scene at this time is what i don't like. again, i don't want to blame you... simply because i don't want to. i can't seem to blame you. i don't know why. maybe it's just me.
perfect setting to release my tantrums but my sane mind tells me that it would only make me look like a fool. i don't know what to do anymore, which makes me hate the situation more. i don't hate you. i don't hate myself (of course!). i just hate the situation.
here in my paradoxical world, i wish i could choose not to feel anything for some moments just so i can accomplish things that i need to do. although i know that i would have to resolve this ON MY OWN, i just want to keep my sanity for the meantime. obviously, i'm the only one bothered here. you're not... of course not...
- - - - - -
afterthought: i thought i'd be posting less (if at all) this holy week particularly because of the upcoming finals, i suddenly have such quick updates. oh well... wish me luck... for my finals (hehe!)
overreacting? maybe i am. but i can't help but to react. why? because i'm overly bothered. i feel so odd. i can't even think properly and set my priorities straight. (which i badly need to do) serves me right for knowing a lot of stuff and for getting invloved with almost everything.
seems so simple. for the "normal" me, a self-help book usually does the trick. but at this point, it seems it would not be that easy. i don't feel me. i don't wholly blame you for that, but the thing is, you triggered these thoughts at the worst possible time (READ: final exams season).
endless thoughts are what i have right now. but you entering the scene at this time is what i don't like. again, i don't want to blame you... simply because i don't want to. i can't seem to blame you. i don't know why. maybe it's just me.
perfect setting to release my tantrums but my sane mind tells me that it would only make me look like a fool. i don't know what to do anymore, which makes me hate the situation more. i don't hate you. i don't hate myself (of course!). i just hate the situation.
here in my paradoxical world, i wish i could choose not to feel anything for some moments just so i can accomplish things that i need to do. although i know that i would have to resolve this ON MY OWN, i just want to keep my sanity for the meantime. obviously, i'm the only one bothered here. you're not... of course not...
- - - - - -
afterthought: i thought i'd be posting less (if at all) this holy week particularly because of the upcoming finals, i suddenly have such quick updates. oh well... wish me luck... for my finals (hehe!)
# posted by ryan quan @ 3:30 AM 
