Saturday, April 07, 2007
1st few days of summer vacation
in the middle of what seemed to me as a moment in my law school life when i'd really appreciate it kung bigla na lang akong nilamon ng lupa, the prospects of summer really excites me. hmm...
a few days into the summer vacation and while the mere fact of thinking of the endless things to do after holy week, including the remnants of what has yet to be done really seal the 2nd semester, is quite overwhelming, i can't help but try to squeeze in time to somehow plan the things i want to do.
first, my friends and i are planning on going to another summer getaway and i'm just too excited about it. Ü next, i need to relax and get away from the boring things i need to accomplish as much as i could. i want to relax, relax, and relax! hehe!
but most of all, this summer is just too important to me. and tomorrow (literally) brings new hope. hay... Ü
as for now, i need to start getting things done. Ü
a few days into the summer vacation and while the mere fact of thinking of the endless things to do after holy week, including the remnants of what has yet to be done really seal the 2nd semester, is quite overwhelming, i can't help but try to squeeze in time to somehow plan the things i want to do.
first, my friends and i are planning on going to another summer getaway and i'm just too excited about it. Ü next, i need to relax and get away from the boring things i need to accomplish as much as i could. i want to relax, relax, and relax! hehe!
but most of all, this summer is just too important to me. and tomorrow (literally) brings new hope. hay... Ü
as for now, i need to start getting things done. Ü
Thursday, April 05, 2007
no-title post (yet again)
the last stretch of the second semester of thrid year has not been all too nice to me. for a lost of reasons, very personal and otherwise. i didn't want to write on this anymore becasue i wanted to keep this to myself or for the most part, i don't some people to think i'm over-reacting. yet i can't seem to get myself back on track to the things i have to do. admittedly, my insecurity level is just way up. probably a case of temporary psychological and/or emotional imbalance, whatever that means...
looking back, i think it all started with some incident, which i think already happened years back. not really a deja vu. but i never thought it would happen when i least expected it to. call it bitterness or angst. i won't deny. in life, i have somehow learned that it doesn't do you any good to be preteneding to be ok when in reality, you're not. i feel this way and no one, an i mean no one, can tell me how to or what to feel. if there's one good thing that happened amidst all these is i got to know who my real friends are, and who are probably my friends, and who are really not worthy to be called friends.
in a world where people are supposedly more rational than others, i never thought that what i considered haven was not that at all. i was wrong. probably before, i thought (or was) right, but yes, things change and people do change. just like everything, this too shall pass. and the only way to achieve this is wander away, reflect, and observe. after all, it was not a decision i made. it was not me who chose. so don't expect me to do anything. it is probably me who do not understand the whole thing or me who cannot do better. it's what others think, and i respect that. we are all entitled to our own opinions anyway. should there be a time that i should fill in a gap, the question if i would do anything or not is something that has yet to be answered again when the right time comes. but as for now, the answer is really a big no. as i said, it was not my decision. and just like in life, we should stand by our decisions. as i always say, there is not such thing as a wrong decision, but it doesn't mean that there are no good and bad decisions.
thanks to all of you (except those not worthy to be called friends), i realized that there are people who couldn't care less about what other people feel or just probable dense or plain naive. people whom i know, i will never get loyalty from, and yes i have proven it. people whom i feel are stealing away my friends, and try to exclude me from my friends without realizing it. and still there are those who think only of themselves and how they feel, people who shut you out even after trying to reach out in ways more than one. what makes it worse is the very fact that i considered them as really good friends and trusted them. i just hope that i am wrong...
for now, i have to go on with life and be happy once more. happiness is a personal choice. it is not dictated by others, nor should it be affected by what others think of you.
looking back, i think it all started with some incident, which i think already happened years back. not really a deja vu. but i never thought it would happen when i least expected it to. call it bitterness or angst. i won't deny. in life, i have somehow learned that it doesn't do you any good to be preteneding to be ok when in reality, you're not. i feel this way and no one, an i mean no one, can tell me how to or what to feel. if there's one good thing that happened amidst all these is i got to know who my real friends are, and who are probably my friends, and who are really not worthy to be called friends.
in a world where people are supposedly more rational than others, i never thought that what i considered haven was not that at all. i was wrong. probably before, i thought (or was) right, but yes, things change and people do change. just like everything, this too shall pass. and the only way to achieve this is wander away, reflect, and observe. after all, it was not a decision i made. it was not me who chose. so don't expect me to do anything. it is probably me who do not understand the whole thing or me who cannot do better. it's what others think, and i respect that. we are all entitled to our own opinions anyway. should there be a time that i should fill in a gap, the question if i would do anything or not is something that has yet to be answered again when the right time comes. but as for now, the answer is really a big no. as i said, it was not my decision. and just like in life, we should stand by our decisions. as i always say, there is not such thing as a wrong decision, but it doesn't mean that there are no good and bad decisions.
thanks to all of you (except those not worthy to be called friends), i realized that there are people who couldn't care less about what other people feel or just probable dense or plain naive. people whom i know, i will never get loyalty from, and yes i have proven it. people whom i feel are stealing away my friends, and try to exclude me from my friends without realizing it. and still there are those who think only of themselves and how they feel, people who shut you out even after trying to reach out in ways more than one. what makes it worse is the very fact that i considered them as really good friends and trusted them. i just hope that i am wrong...
for now, i have to go on with life and be happy once more. happiness is a personal choice. it is not dictated by others, nor should it be affected by what others think of you.
