Sunday, August 28, 2005
matters i don't normally mind
oh that four-letter word... (there are a lot of them, go take your pick) i don't usually talk about it, much less, post something about it here in my blog. umm... i retract. i actually did a few months back. (if you're much too inclined to find out, go check the archives)
it doesn't seem to be much of a concern for me, or so i think. i don't even know why i'm writing about this now. i just feel i needed to let this out before i finally call it a night (or a day -- it's past 3 in the morning). with the recent turn of events in my life, i suddenly feel so emotionally unstable, a feeling i can't explain no matter how hard i think of it. i just end up being tired and exasperated. i thought IT wasn't there anymore. then again...
let's just say that there are 2 people involved. which makes it all the more complicated. suffice it to say that whatever i want to happen can't happen. it just can't. my fault? probably. but i don't know...
to the other person, i can't seem to understand why i am very bothered and you are not at all. what i hate most is that you can't seem to notice ANYTHING. could be your fault or mine or i'm just probably plain stupid.
to that other person who will probably remain to be the one that got away... admittedly, it's not your fault. i think it was never your fault from the very start. it's just me. what i can't understand is why i still feel the same way after all these years. i thought it was over. everything. i guess i'm wrong...
serves me right for being so insensitive and scared...
with that, i shall call it a night and rest. hoping that at the break of dawn, i can start anew with all the mess cleaned up.
it doesn't seem to be much of a concern for me, or so i think. i don't even know why i'm writing about this now. i just feel i needed to let this out before i finally call it a night (or a day -- it's past 3 in the morning). with the recent turn of events in my life, i suddenly feel so emotionally unstable, a feeling i can't explain no matter how hard i think of it. i just end up being tired and exasperated. i thought IT wasn't there anymore. then again...
let's just say that there are 2 people involved. which makes it all the more complicated. suffice it to say that whatever i want to happen can't happen. it just can't. my fault? probably. but i don't know...
to the other person, i can't seem to understand why i am very bothered and you are not at all. what i hate most is that you can't seem to notice ANYTHING. could be your fault or mine or i'm just probably plain stupid.
to that other person who will probably remain to be the one that got away... admittedly, it's not your fault. i think it was never your fault from the very start. it's just me. what i can't understand is why i still feel the same way after all these years. i thought it was over. everything. i guess i'm wrong...
serves me right for being so insensitive and scared...
with that, i shall call it a night and rest. hoping that at the break of dawn, i can start anew with all the mess cleaned up.
# posted by ryan quan @ 3:45 AM 
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aiee, ryan...this is a side of you i can't quite reconcile with the gregarious and confident ry that i that i know. ha ha dapat pala lovelife mo pinag-chichismisan natin, much more interesting he he
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